Our Complicated Relationship With Gymnastics Culture
I’ve been thinking… if the world is upside down, shouldn’t we be upside down too? I’m joking! Well, sort of joking.
Having been known as “the gymnast” (whether active or retired) for the better part of 20 years, I cannot count how many times I have been asked the age old question, “Can you teach me how to do a flip?” If I am being transparent, when I was younger I used to internally groan whenever this question would inevitably come up after someone would uncover that I was a gymnast. Now, quite contrastingly, I am honored. We underestimate just how incredible it is to be capable of flying - yes, flying - when we are young.
The thing about gymnastics is that it is so much more than just flying. Of course, my fellow former and current gymnasts know this. I was going to try to recreate a chapter I wrote in “The Silver Lining” on this very topic, but then I realized that most of what I wrote, even if it was 2 years ago, rings true still to today. And with National Eating Disorder Awareness week just passing and the new developments in the story of John Geddert coming to a head, it seems as good a time as any to resurface it…
“Many of the benefits of gymnastics are NOT related to learning gymnastics skills, but more important developmental areas that will help your child become a better student and young adult” (Burgdorf, 2019). Other examples of good are my: discipline, work ethic, resilience, self-confidence, attention to detail, perseverance, and goal-setting skills. Although it seems like gymnastics has provided me with a lot of positive character traits, as we all know, they all come with more complicated baggage than they appear to.
Discipline
“What will help them is the multitude of skills, both physical skills for a healthy lifestyle and personal skills to succeed in school and work, learned from doing gymnastics” (Champaign Gymnastics Academy, 2019). Discipline is definitely a benefit for a young child in their formative years, or an adult looking to better themselves. I always thrived with structure and direction, finding the most success in the activities that encompassed these qualities. Gymnastics is one of those activities, however, I wonder if there is such a thing as too much discipline?
This is an idea I have toyed with a lot as I look back on my first couple of years as a gymnast. The structure and direction were essential to performing the skills the correct way and in turn advancing to the next level of skills. If you didn’t have total discipline, you were at a disadvantage. However, total discipline also instilled a burning desire for perfection. While I attempted complete discipline, I did not succeed because I was not being taught the basic skills the correct way. Years later, by not having these basic skills mastered seamlessly, I struggled to advance. This meant I would sacrifice good body form to achieve the next level of skills, oftentimes overarching my back. This constant pounding on my body in unnatural ways ultimately led to injury. This unfortunately is not uncommon for gymnasts as they oftentimes go to all extremes to achieve the next level of skills in the sport.
Work Ethic
Work ethic is another benefit for a young child (or adult). This unwavering work ethic has proved me right for many years. This also feeds into the ability to focus, as gymnastics is a highly technical sport. To master skills, you must be on high alert at all times. One second of misdirected thought and you could seriously injure yourself. Marry these two with determination and you have someone ready to take on any task. The problem is, while these benefits usually resulted in an increased skill level inside the gym, they also resulted in obsessive behaviors outside the gym. I was working tirelessly and never taking a break for relaxation. This not only left my body more susceptible to injury inside of the gym, but it left my mind running endlessly in search of perfection outside of the gym.
…Also not uncommon for gymnasts. As my friend once said, “Perfection was the farfetched, unattainable goal at all times.” Or perhaps, let’s reflect on what Aly Raisman said in an interview with Reebok: “Not only is she refusing to stop at the gymnastics glass ceiling, but she’s doing it in a sport that is rooted in perfection itself. ‘If you breathe at the wrong second, you could make a mistake,’ she says. From pointed toes, to slicked-back buns, and stuck landings, flawlessness is what gets you the gold.” (Mazzo, 2019).
“These gymnasts are held to the standard of perfection, and nothing less. To perform less than what was expected of them would be to forfeit their careers, which to them, meant their very lives...In gymnastics, girls are conditioned to believe that nothing less than perfection is acceptable.” (Teenage Struggles, 2018). The all-encompassing, entirely enthralling feeling of achieving near perfection contrasted with the earth-shattering pain of falling short is nothing short of completely heartbreaking.
Resilience
This involves the concept of moving on from mistakes. If you were at a competition and you did not perform to the best of your ability in one event, you had to leave those ill feelings at that event and move on. This sounds like it could be positive, but the intensity of gymnastics makes it harmful. This has resulted in my being vulnerable to being taken advantage of. When someone does me wrong, I am quick to move on and not carry the ill feelings with me. This is both positive and negative: positive when what they did is not that big of a deal; negative when what they did is inexcusable.
Self-Confidence
Confidence is absolutely necessary to perform your skills to the best of your ability and the peak of my confidence came when I was on the beam. It’s dangerous not to believe in yourself in this sport. Compassion ties into this as you believe in your teammates and instill this belief in them so they can ultimately believe in themselves without a shed of doubt. This sounds like it would be straightforward; compassion for others is always a positive thing. This type of compassion I had mastered, truly and fully supporting my teammates. The compassion I lacked, however, was compassion for myself. This is not a foreign idea for anyone struggling with anxiety. I am hard on myself. I set the unattainable goal of perfection. Nevertheless, when these impossible levels are not reached, I become even more anxious. It is the vicious cycle.
By contrast, one thing I did not lack was strength, both of the body and of the mind - especially in the height of my gymnastics career.
Attention to Detail
Finally, there is attention to detail. Judging gymnastics is all about the minute things that the common person’s eye would not see. It’s about analyzing the finest details that make a skill either perfect, or less than perfect. To improve, you must hone in on these details to continue improving your scores. While these things all seem to be innocent, coupled with a former gymnast who found her confidence in her successful performances who no longer has the perfectly-defined body she once did, taking pride in other people’s judgements of her routines is a recipe for disaster for anyone. But more importantly here in my case, created a growing void that got larger with each passing day.
In regards to eating disorders: “In the 1992 NCAA survey, 51% of the gymnastics programs that responded reported this illness among its team members, ‘a far greater percentage than in any other sport’ (‘Dying to win’ 1994). Unfortunately, the real number is probably even higher” (Schultz, O’Reilly & Cahn, 2007). And, of course: “A more recent review of the research indicates that female athletes in judged sports have a 13 percent prevalence of eating disorders, compared to just 3 percent in the general population” (Flogymnastics.com, 2013).
On the topic of eating disorders - I did tell y’all I would be transparent with you on here - I have struggled myself. I wanted to take this time to share a little something I put out there during this past #nedaweek.
“Our body has fought & persevered through so many obstacles. Proclaim these victories aloud to yourself & step into a place of gratitude. Here are just some of the tough & incredible things my body has done for me in just 22 years:
Endured & overcome physical and sexual abuse, carried me while I flipped & flew through the air over a 4-inch beam, endured & overcome periods of time when my mind played tricks and restricted it of proper nourishment, allowed me the physical capability to care for those who cannot physically care for themselves, endured & healed from a fractured spine and the countless other gymnastics injuries throughout my time as a competitive gymnast, and allowed me the able power to walk on the beach and feel sand beneath my toes…
Those are just a few of the innumerable things my body has done for me. Let’s pay attention to what our body asks of us in return - the cues of hunger, fullness, nutrients & also deliciousness. Now, it’s your turn - be proud of your body and reward it with the nourishment it deserves.”
Perseverance & Goal-setting
Perseverance is another one of those complex concepts. While it is important to keep fighting on through the challenges, both inside and outside of the gym, there is a point when you need to recognize that it’s time to seek help. Whether it be the mental toughness we needed to embody, the disregard for extreme levels of pain we were forced to embrace or the emotionlessness we ultimately fell into, perseverance sounds much better on paper. Couple this with goal-setting skills, which oftentimes in the gym resulted in plans to climb up the level ladder much quicker than is humanly possible. But what happens when perseverance is taken too far and you sacrifice your mental and physical well-being in order to achieve these higher-level skills?
My one-track mind was focused solely on improving my skills to advance levels. Outside the gym, this left me with no concept of what a non-gymnastics goal looked like. My whole life revolved around defining my success by what skills I was performing in the gym and how well I was performing them. While some things, like school, had come easy to me growing up, I could not identify one goal for my life that did not involve gymnastics in some capacity. Take gymnastics out of the picture and that left me with a huge gap to fill and a vulnerability for someone else to jump in and impose their definitions of success onto me. “Less than 3% of all young girls will successfully compete in what USA Gymnastics considers the ‘age group’ program” (Sharp, 2019).
Samantha Peszek, a former Olympic gymnast, reminisced,
“As much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think you can ever truly ‘retire’ from the sport of gymnastics... it’s just part of who you are... The things I’m proud of are those intangibles that I didn’t know I was learning along the way... These are the things that are helping me in my life today. As hard as gymnastics can be, I’m so grateful that I was able to learn so much that has set me up for success in my life now (because) I STILL hate to make mistakes, but I sure as heck know how to pick myself back up and move on.” (Peszek, 2019).
I referred to myself as a gymnast above all else, and no longer being able to participate in the sport did not change this. This left me with a void to fill and a question I still had not yet answered:
Is it true that all I would ever be is just a gymnast?
Not to spoil the ending here, but to answer this question… of course not. I am so much more than just a gymnast, and I know that now. But the thing about gymnastics is that our relationship with the sport is so complicated. To say I am disappointed right now is an understatement. The gymnastics world has failed me, and so many others, in so many ways. But even more so than disappointed, I am heartbroken. This sport is SO incredible - I mean look at how many incredible traits it can instill in us - if handled properly and in a healthy way, this sport is unmatched.
I spent a long time searching for an outlet now that my active gymnastics career has come to an end. One of my favorite things about this sport is that all gymnasts can find commonplace. My closest friends are still my gymnastics girls I met at 3 years old and grew up alongside - who I now call my ‘forever friends’. We have since all taken different paths in our lives - some not even living in the same state as myself - but our bond remains. That’s the thing, we shared such intimate parts of ourselves throughout our time as gymnasts. This sport quite literally shaped us into the young women we are today, and so our friendship is unbreakable. I love this sport, I didn’t want to abandon it. The beauty of it is, I don’t have to. Having found Train Like a Gymnast has connected me with individuals who I can level with - our shared experience, and sometimes varying experiences, allows us to forge friendships from across the country.
So, all to say, let’s be a part of the positive narrative and #changegymnasticsculture and shift to a healthy gymnastics culture. I am so proud to say, we have so many incredible members of the #TLAGTeam that have, and continue to, pioneer and cultivate healthy environments for gymnasts. (Apply if you haven’t already!) If you want to be a part of this positive culture shift as well, platforms like Train Like a Gymnast are a great place to start.
“This leaves me with one question, why has a sport I love so much, that all gymnasts love so much, also led to so much pain and suffering for me and for others.”
-The Silver Lining by Serena Pergola
Until next time,
Xo- Serena
Resources
*Contact the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline for support, resources, and treatment options for yourself or a loved one. Helpline volunteers are trained to help you find the information and support you are looking for. Reach out today!
“Benefits of Gymnastics.” Springfit. (2019).
“Benefits of Gymnastics.” Champaign Gymnastics Academy. (2019).
Burgdorf, T. “Benefits of Gymnastics.” Gymnastics Unlimited. (2019).
Mazzo, L. “Aly Raisman On What It’s Like to Compete in a Sport That’s All About Perfection.” Shape. (2019).
Peszek, S. Instagram Post. (2019).
Schultz, J., O’Reilly, J. and Cahn, SK. Women and Sports in the United States. Boston: Northeastern University Press. (2007).
Sharp, K. “Competitive Gymnastics for Young Girls: What to Expect.” Howtheyplay. (2019).
“The Touchy Topic of Gymnasts and Body Weight, Eating Disorders and Nutrition (Part 1 of 4).” Flogymnastics.Com. (2013).
“Thoughts on Aly Raisman’s Autobiography, ‘Fierce.’ “ Teenage Struggles. (2018).